Lola's Blog

For My eye's to the eyes of loved ones........

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Bad day, I feel like I'm PMSing!! UUHHGGGGGGGG

Monday, March 13, 2006

I'll be looking at a beautiful home on either Wed or Thurs Morning YAY, a gorgeous home in Bradford, This is were I feel most comfortable, "THIS AREA" not the home I live in now, I just need OUT to many memories of my stinking Soon to be Ex-Husband, so I am hoping to just move on and heal, So anyway this home has 10 rooms, a Beautiful Kitchen, lovely space for my Baby.

No one ever said it was easy, Today I am up and down,"Feeling wise" I talked w/Mom a little bit and well as you'll learn we don't always see eye to eye! I just wanted someone to talk to, being so bored and still partially layed up,Well she didn't have much time for me I guess, Lord I pray that I am always here for my Children, I don't want to come off like some little Child having a dilemma I just want to feel Loved the way I love.. I am so incredibly sensitive, a big baby per say, I cry about everything, "That's me".

I miss little Miss Sarah, I haven't had her much still and would just love to hold her right now, she is so sweet and gentle, so Innocent, She just recently had her check up she is so SMART, she is tall 36 inches, 31 lbs. At 25 months, above the charts for height. She goes to Sunday school every Sunday and Loves Jesus, she loves me to sing about Jesus,, How awesome is that?

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Well today has been very unproductive, I had a busy day yesterday and today suffered for it, I am still Recovering and slept most of my day away, It's 10pm and I feel wide awake. I can't wait to start feeling Normal, Is there even such thing??? I miss my baby girl, she's been with mom alot due to mme not being able to lift her!! I miss you baby!!

Friday, March 10, 2006

I did forget something my Beautiful sister came over this morning and brought me some flowers, I haven't seen or heard from her I a while a while meaning she use to live w/me and we were so close, She was Wed last September and moved approx 1 hour away, that makes me feel very empty as well, we were the best of friends anyway moving on their is not much one can do about that, I did express That I missed her and she explained she was feeling the same way, her and her husband may put their home up for sale and move closer to the family, I would be so happy especially scence they are trying to get preggers.

A friend of mine also came by, he is very wonderful and would do anything for me!! He has been trying to put together my wireless router UHHGGG what a job!! Thank god he has computer knowledge, so at least I have had company considering I have just stared at the same four walls for two weeks now, due to my surgery..That I am grateful for, that and my friends and you know who you are if your reading this.

Well Goodmorning,"I THINK" I've been awake scince 4am and am feeling Pretty tired, I awoke due to having Anxiety, I can't stop thinking about what is the next step in my life! I am so hurt, I have this horrible divorce to conquer , I have so much anger for my soon to be EX and the sanctity of Marriage is SO important to me, however he did deceive me in the worst possible way..I wish the pain would just go away, So many people think "Wow you are so STRONG" I have news I am weak, GOD holds me up and keeps me above water as well as my Daughter, She is Amazing she makes me smile..I'm also feeling very badly regarding my call about my co-worker Dying, she was merely in her 50's.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Well this is Day one in the new world of blogging for me, and well I just figured it might be a way to express myself, for ME!!
It's been two weeks Tomorrow scince my Hysterectomy, I am still carrying some sadness, just knowing I can never have another child, never, But I do have my sweet baby girl Sarah Hope, she is my world, as I sit and write this she is singing, "Jesus Loves Me"..She was Born on February 14, 2004, I was 33 y/o when I delivered her..The best day I can remember just like it is today!!
I am a soon to be divorced 34 year old woman who takes Great pride in being a Mommy.